counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
Randomize
