party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
Best part about losing weight and not fitting into your pants any longer? They come off quick for chipotle emergencies.
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
You've changed since you got that strap on
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
Randomize
