yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
This is why you don't make out with cougars at a bar... I got a linkedin request from her, wtf?
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
You've picked up chicks by quoting metal bands
When they're drunk they believe it's Shakespeare...enjoy the simple things
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
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