we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
Randomize
