NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
Did I mention I should never take 5 Xanax and drink?
I sort of figured that out when I found you sitting on the roof of your house saying we could get in through the skylight while I called the locksmith.
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
Am I really in your phone as Asshole Jesus??
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
Randomize
