How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
Are those your contacts stuck to the mirror?!
Yeah. Drunk me tried to put my contacts on the mirror where my eyes were.
Randomize
