Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
Randomize
