is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
Eating Doritos is not nearly as enjoyable when I'm not drunkenly feeding them to peacocks.
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
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