Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
Randomize
