The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
my dad came in to wish me a happy birthday and found me passed out in my underwear with the lights on and a plate of meat on the bed. i bet he was proud to have contributed to my creation in that moment.
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
Randomize
