you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
While in Europe, he bought me a pouring tap to put on my liquor so I don't spill. This means 2 things.1) He really loves me. 2) I'm a noticeable alcoholic.
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
Randomize
