i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
We got so high we made milksteak
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
So apparently I fell asleep sitting on the toilet last night while my drunk girlfriend sang to me.
Randomize
