My parents took my cat for a ride in the car. Second weekend in a row. They think its fun. Dear God
your room smells of hookers.
And success
I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
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