glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
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