Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
Randomize
