normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
Randomize
