I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
Randomize
