Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
She's kind of holyer-than-thou, like god himself came down and said "please cock block your roommate at every opportunity, and if you think she's thinking of sex, tell her she's a whore"
Randomize