the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
Randomize
