But, I don't have the body of a porn star, so nobody would hire me. Unless they're doing like a trip to the safari and they need an albino rhino
question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
Randomize
