Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
It was like giving head to a cactus.
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
In other news I may have fractured my masturbating arm
At least it wasn't your drinking arm
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
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