Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
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