So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
Randomize