that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
You're not talking any sense into me. You're cheering me on to disaster.
... is that not half the reason I'm your best friend in the first place?
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
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