dude I went to cubs game with my mustache, aviators, and a hooded sweatshirt. Do you think it was irony or fate that there were four 17 year old girls in front of us?
Dude, a dry wedding reception should nullify the vows, because really, without the booze, you might as well be 5 years old again and playing dress-up
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
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