New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
And if you put this on Facebook, I will drop live cockroaches in your mouth while you sleep and then smother you with a pillow.
You always say the most romantic things
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
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