Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
Listen, Pinot Grigio got me pregnant. It can get you a boyfriend.
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
You guys I wore sweatpants to work today because I simply forgot to put on real pants and I had a weed brownie and a juice box for breakfast. I am not ready for parenting.
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
Randomize
