Ambien. No doubt about it.
UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
Randomize