At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
Randomize
