hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
please tell me that the half empty jar of cocktail sauce on the table has nothing to do with my missing seamonkeys
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
I'm gonna buy my dress an hour before wedding. You know, just to make sure it's gonna really happen.
T'would be a shame to waste that open bar though. They shouldn't do that to us. We've been having to pretend we're happy for two people who got engaged a week after they met.
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
My dog just blew me a kiss. First of all I'm stoned and second of all he's a pitbull. Those aren't sexual dogs. So wtf.
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