Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
Randomize
