He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
Randomize
