I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
You tried to tell her that the salad was an afrodisiac then proceeded to stroke yourself with the feather duster
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
I got inside last night via doggy door
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
Randomize
