How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize
