I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
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