I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
I came home with 30lbs of BBQ last night. I can't pick up women in a bar but I sure can pick up leftovers from a corporate party.
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
Randomize
