I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
hurry up. it's a friday night and i'm drinking in my office by myself. wearing a stewie griffin costume. the cleaning lady is judging me.
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