just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
Randomize
