So I answered the door in my underwear expecting my boyfriend. Instead I opened the door to Mormon missionaries. Do you think that was a sign from God?
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
Randomize
