Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
Just got a blowjob from a coed in exchange for saving her an iPhone 5 when I get them in stock. Sometimes it's awesome to be a Verizon employee.
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
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