I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
so my phone autocorrects 'retard' to 'retaaahd'. i LOVE being a masshole!
I just found a 1/2 inch of mimosa in my shoe.
You should get more absorbent shoes.
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
Randomize
