We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
Randomize
