Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
Randomize
