You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
Randomize
