just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
I had new employee orientation at the YMCA today. I showed up with a hangover, a black eye, scratches down my arm, and a sore throat from puking gin and keystone.
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
Randomize
