Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
Randomize
