I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
so I was like, you know platform 9 3/4? I know something else with those measurements. best. pick up line. ever.
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
So I had this brilliant idea that I would sleep in all sorts of sweatpants and sweatshirts... Apparently I thought I could "sweat" off the drunk in my sleep and that it would make me feel better when I woke up
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
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