i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
Been in the ER for 3 hours now. This hospitals transition to paperless is not going well. But my doctor looks like Elton John and just gave me percocet
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
Also: that bruise on my leg where you left like 3 sets of teeth marks keeps getting run into the corners of desks and shit. And I can't even complain to anyone at work
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
Randomize
