I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
I would explain the ketchup stains in the bed to him but saying I just got my period is so much less embarrassing...
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
Randomize
