I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
Doing bumps while the kids play upstairs. #bestnannyever
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
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