I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
Randomize
