is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
Randomize
