The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
Randomize
