My entire life is one complicated drinking game
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
Randomize
