Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
Today's walk of shame includes last nights hair and make up, an 8 hour shift, me leading a meeting and me throwing up in a parking lot on my way to work. Dear world, you're welcome.
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
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