he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
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