is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
Randomize
