umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
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