If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
Also you know what's worse than drunk texting? Drunk leaving soup on your hot neighbor's porch.
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
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