Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
Randomize
