i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
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