Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
not allowed to tweet this cos she's following me but i definitely just got head in a stairwell of the university of chicago. wanted you all to know.
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
Randomize
