WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
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