What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
New policy: when a woman uses the word blowjob in a sentence within 5 minutes of meeting her, you buy her a drink.
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
On the bright side his mom approves of me. Though it's apparently because she sleeps with married men and has a soft spot for "fellow homewreckers"
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
Randomize
